Thursday, December 6, 2007

There's always a beginning...

So here it goes, my first blog everrrrr. My name is Britney, and I'm 26 years old. Age really is just a number, because I have days where I think I'm 40 and other days that I act like a 16 year old. My friends say that I tell the best stories and I have been told numerous times that I should write a book, so I figure I'll start with blogging and see how that goes. I'm actually unsure of whether I should tell my life story to catch everyone up to speed first or if I should just start with current events.

Lets discuss today...I'm in an extremely sentimental, romantic, and overall mushy-gushy mood today (Yes, I wrote mushy-gushy). I think it's a combination of the holidays, the weather, and the fact that I am more single than I have ever been in my life. Loneliness is setting in the for the first time in a while, and I'm not liking it at all.
I'll be honest, I am a bit boy crazy, no, I'm EXTREMELY boy crazy, and I pretty much have been since I came out of my mama's womb. My current work situation isn't helping either. About 5 months ago, I got a new job in a real estate development office with a handfull of moderate to extremely good looking guys that are my age, successful, tall, and American...a rare commodity in Miami. The worst part is that I feel that I have a strong connection with my direct boss and another superior. They are both single...this isn't good and a recipe for disaster given my track record with men. Everyday is like a game of tug of war between my feelings/sex drive and my common sense. Common sense says, "don't shit where you eat" while my sex drive/ huge desire to fall in love says, "don't let this opportunity pass you by." There will be much, much more about this topic to come...trust me, it's all I've been thinking about for the past 5 months.


Next topic, I am soooo overweight right now. I've got a good 10 pounds to lose before I can feel remotely attractive again. Sometimes I think my weight is why I'm still single. I've always had a bangin' body, but something about the age of 25 did it's toll on me. Now that I am half way through my 26th year, I'm worried that my weight is spinning out of control. I'm tall and pear shaped which in some ways is great, because I carry and conceal my weight pretty well by wearing jeans/ pants all of the time and accentuating my cleavage and waste line. The problem now is that I'm starting to carry the weight in my upper body as well, not to mention I have a slight double chin.WTF!!!!!????? Solution? NUTRISYSTEM. I'm hoping it will be my savior. I've had the food for over two weeks now, but due to Thanksgiving and the holidays, I've been completely stalling. I just finished organizing my food and plan on starting tomorrow. Wish me luck because I totally need it.

One of my very best friends, Yvette, said something to me last night that caused a revelation of sorts. She told me that I always need instant gratification...no one has ever told me this, and I realized that it is my total down fall. Let's analyze this: if I have a craving, I go for it whether it's food, a drink, romance, attention...anything. While in some ways it can be seen as a strength, the majority of the time it's HORRIBLE! It's like I can't control my impulses, I want so I do (without thinking). Of course I have limits. I have strong morals when it comes to friendships and how people should be treated, but when it comes to myself...AHHHH...OK- this is getting too complicated. I just realized what this blog is going to do to me...it's causing me to get reeeaaaalll deep. I'm gonna pause on that for now... Maybe it's the wine. Actually, I'm going to go pour myself another glass...BRB.

Sex and the City


Which character are you?

I think for the most part, every woman falls into one of the categories. I'm soooo Samantha. I have some Carrie moments, but for the most part, Sam is my girl. She's actually my alter ego. Living in Miami, partying is my lifestyle. When I am partying, I am Sam. I am overly confident, overly outgoing, overly dressed, and overly drunk...the life of the party 'til someone gets hurt. That someone is usually me. Who hurts me? Myself. Make sense? Nope, I know. Where Samantha and I differ is our emotions...I have too many of them. Damn it! I wish I could have casual sex and not be hurt if I don't hear from the guy again or not be disappointed if everytime he sees me thereafter it's basically with one goal in mind: SEX. I hate that feeling. I feel cheap, used, and like a hooker. This all goes back to the instant gratification thing. I see a hot guy, I approach him, I like him, I want him, I get him...BUT I usually want to KEEP him. Ladies, we all know, this is not how we keep a man. As much as I hate to admit it and as much as we hate it, it's all about the chase. Men need to chase something, so that once they catch it, they appreciate it. IT SUCKS! Women for the most part know exactly what we want, so when we find it, we're happy, we appreciate it, and want to live happily ever after. Don't get me wrong, women like a challenge too, but a fun one, not a damn near impossible one. No one ever told me being 20 something would be so complicated. What I want is simple: meet my prince charming, fall in love, get married, get a house together, have babies, and live happily ever after. When did this get so damn complicated? I think it's the prince charming part. FACK!